Monday, August 13, 2007

You might be gay if.....

1) you have a lisp (and you don't have a cleft palette)
2) you go to a salon, not a barber
3) you hate watching televised sporting events
4) you wear dress shoes without socks
5) you wear a coral necklace
6) You currently listen to “techno,” “dance” or “trance” music or listened to Yanni in the 90s or The Cure, New Order or Depeche Mode during the 80s or ABBA in the 70s.
7) you subscribe to GQ, Vanity Fair or Esquire
8) you spend more on hair and grooming products than your electric bill
9) you shave, pluck or do anything to accentuate your eyes
10) you wear makeup
11) you drive a Honda Element, Volkswagon Jetta, Cabrio, Eos or Beetle or a Vespa
12) you think you look fat
13) you know of and use pet names for grocery stores and retail outlets
14) you shave your body hair or wax anything
15) if you know any designer of a woman's handbag or shoes
16) if you comment or notice that it's time for a woman to have her roots touched up
17) if you get dressed in the morning, then change, because what you had on "just wasn't working."
18) If you had anything to do (outside of showing up) on your wedding day.
19) You wear Guess or 7 jeans ... or low waisted jeans.
20) You highlight your hair or dye it blond
21) You wear jewelery (or care about it)
22) You wear your collar up
23) You like to vacation in The French Riviera
24) You work out in spandex pants or shorts
25) You prefer a v-neck cut on your undershirts and sweaters
26) You wear a tatoo on your ankle or around your arm
27) You are vegetarian or better yet, vegan
28) You drink fruity alcholic beverages, including fruit enhanced beer
29) You like to wear your clothes tight
30) You wear your pants high on your waist and tuck in your shirt
31) You only wear non-pleated pants
32) You squeal when you accidentally drop something
33) When you are driving and stop short, you try to brace your passenger by restraining their chest with your forearm
34) Your favorite movie genre is "Musical"
35) You like to comb or blow dry your hair in the locker room while standing naked in front of the mirror
25) You prefer open toe footwear
26) You think parades are fun
27) You use a loofa in the shower
28) All your clothes are on wooden hangers
29) You take herbal supplements on a regular basis
30) You consume protein shakes 3-4 times a week
31) You own a convertible care over 4 years old